cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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