okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Randomize
