So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
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Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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