East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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