thus making me awesome and them whores
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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