so let's talk penis.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Randomize
