It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
