I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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