i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Vodka?
Forever.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Randomize
