can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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