you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
