I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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