i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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