Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
