Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Randomize
