Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Randomize
