Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
