I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
