I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
It's official drugs can't kill me
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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