So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
