I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
It's Friday. Sex?
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Randomize
