My friends, they love my intelligence
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
