M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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