No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
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