Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
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