hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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