He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Randomize