WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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