Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Randomize
