It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
