Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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