For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
smell my finger.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
