At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
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