Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
