No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
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