This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
