Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
