We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize