My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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