he wants to bone in the snuggie
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
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