how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
