My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
