Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Randomize
