I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
