we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
