I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
