I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
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