good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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