the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Randomize