You just made me feel so damn special
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
