i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
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