Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
