FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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