Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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