My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
that's an acceptable place to lick
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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