She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
it was like having sex with a tree stump
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
