I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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