My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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