i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
