I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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