Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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