no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
