I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Randomize
