kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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